Romantics will hate this ..
Devoting oneself exclusively to one person, and having one person exclusively devoted to you – forever – is a fairy story.
Even if it were possible, it is not in itself a ‘good’ thing.
We live long, we grow, we adapt, we evolve. We become different people. If one is the same person at fifty as one was at thirty then twenty years have been wasted. If our experiences, our knowledge, our expectations, our joys and disappointments have not affected, moulded, shaped us – then what are we doing with our lives?
Our hopes, our dreams, our desires are not fixed and constant. They are subject to modification, alteration, augmentation, cancellation. They are replaced by different goals. Different objectives. We like and dislike different things. We find we develop different tastes and wants and needs for fulfilment – intellectually, emotionally, sexually.
And life itself is diverse, unpredictable and ever-changing. Opportunity and threat, tragedy and comedy, disease and good fortune are always close.
And we are human. Most of all we are individuals. We arrive and leave this earth alone. We are incredibly strong but also undeniably weak. And love is powerful and wonderful. Yet it can be fickle and careless.
I believe that in all our relationships, even when they overlap, if we can honestly and truly give the most and best that we are able of ourselves, it is more than enough.
And for the romantics who believe in everlasting love and happy ever after …
I applaud you.
© the author writing as Romantic Dominant
Art by Anne Magill