Me – the ‘small print’

I wrote this five years ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic.

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Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic

Art by Fabian Perez

 

Curse on the Butcher

I curse you Vladimir Putin.

The curse of a disease.

Malign, incurable, terminal.

A disease bringing you extreme and endless pain that cannot be eased.

A disease that has you incontinent, pus-ridden and stripped of dignity.

A disease that has your flesh rotting from your bones.

A disease that lingers long, yet every day attacks you more viciously, more brutally, more cruelly.

A disease that slowly destroys your body and mind.

Yet still allows you to know the world, including your own people, relish, delight and take comfort in every single second of your suffering.

This is my curse on you, Vladimir Putin.

Yet it is still not punishment enough.

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© the author writing as Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic

Image taken from internet. If yours please let me know and I will credit or remove.

 

Me – the ‘small print’

I wrote this four years ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic.

.

Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic

Art by Fabian Perez

 

Incitement to rape?

I have published this post five times before, but there is never a wrong time to post it again.

First posted September 1st 2015

Sometimes I get serious

It seems an ageing female rock star recently suggested in an interview with one of our sad excuses for a serious newspaper that women/girls who dress provocatively should expect to be molested – or worse – by men.

I can only believe she was misquoted – I haven’t read the article so I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

But let me be quite clear.

What a woman or girl wears is entirely her business. It can be sexy and revealing. It can be wild and kinky, It can be ‘slutty’ and sultry. It doesn’t matter. It is entirely her choice. It is her choice to make without fear of harassment, without threat of misogyny, without the danger of some sad prick believing it justifies any attention at all beyond silent admiration.

How a woman acts is equally up to her. If she wants to be a vamp. a princess, a tease, or a kitten she can. If she wants to get, drunk, stoned, utterly out of her mind it isn’t a cry for some mindless moron to take advantage of her, or see it as a come-on, or as an excuse to say she has got it coming to her.

So if you are a man who has so little control of himself that he thinks every scantily clad girl acting outrageously gives him the right to force himself on her, then I would suggest chemical castration is probably too good for you.

And if you are a woman who looks down your nose at someone of your own sex who exercises the freedom to be herself, or thinks that girls bring it on themselves, then all you are doing is colluding with the apes.

In a case of rape (or sexual assault) the woman or girl is never, ever at fault.  Even if she changes her mind at the very last minute, that is her prerogative, her choice, her right.  If a man ‘cannot stop himself’ then he is no more than an animal and deserves to be treated like one.

There is never, repeat never, any justification for rape or any form of harassment, nor can any action by a woman ever be considered as incitement.

At some point I shall give my perspective on those who bleat and argue that ‘immodesty among women is against our religion, or is not part of our culture’. Attacking that misogynist, hypocritical, bullying shit deserves a whole post to itself.

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© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Photo taken from Pinterest. Unsure of source. If it is yours please let me know and I will remove or credit.

 

International Women’s day and sexual D/s

 

Some might have been surprised by my tweet on Twitter earlier today.

I find women incredible. Brave, resourceful, capable, clever, admirable. More than equal to men. Respect not just for today, but every day.

— Romantic Dominant (@RomDominant)

Perhaps for a number of readers it might seem an unusual, even an unlikely thing, for a man who is ‘hard wired’ to sexually dominate, control and ‘own’ women to write like this. I shall explain in a moment.

But first of all, why do I find women so incredible?

Basically, because no matter how badly, unfairly, carelessly, cruelly, immorally, and disrespectfully we men have treated women down the centuries, women have not bowed to brutality, persecution, discrimination, patronization, and thoughtlessness. Even when today – even in the ridiculously called ‘first’ world – the situation is still oppressive.

• The major religions all denigrate, marginalize, and subjugate women to a lesser or greater extent.
• Pay levels across the globe have been kept universally lower for women. (Even in ‘enlightened’ Hollywood male actors still earn more)
• Men still occupy the majority of key and middle positions in government and business. There is no real equality of opportunity.
• Sexual crimes, harassment, intimidation, and sexually inappropriate behavior are still institutional almost everywhere. The previous President of the United States (Trump) is a clear example of it. There is still a belief among many men (and sadly some women) that rape can be justified or excused. It can never be under any circumstances. See here.
• Men are often allowed to walk away from the physical (and often financial) responsibility of fatherhood, expecting women to rear children. And regardless of whether the man is there or not, the woman is still often expected to take on the majority of childcare, running the house, and go to work.
• Even in the USA in around half the states there is no legal limitation on the minimum age of the bride.

I could go on. Forever. Some things maybe are better now than they were once. But it is truly miserable. And the pace of change is glacial.

But despite everything women have bravely battled and fought, and are still doing so. And they are proving, at last that, if there is a more resourceful, adaptable, intelligent and braver sex – then women are it. Because to succeed in living fulfilling and happy lives in such a misogynist and hostile environment takes far more than most men will ever give credit, or even attempt to understand.

And where does D/s – as it relates to me – sit in all of this?

It has very little to do with it.

Sexual D/s is a consensual act or agreement between two people where one gives up their sexual free will to the other. The reason they do this is because it arouses, excites and completes them. It is the way they both are. Of course a Dominant or a submissive can be a man or a woman and vice versa.

But if there is one thing about D/s that does relate to all I have said in this post, then it is this. If any male Dominant thinks he is somehow above, more important or better than his female submissive then he really needs to take a long hard look at himself.

Because he has clearly lost the plot.

And proved my point.

Women are more than equal to men.

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I wrote this, and the tweet, four years ago. I re-post both today. Much has happened in the last twelve months, and perhaps the tide is turning. But it is a massive ocean that needs to change.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art from UN International Women’s Day promotional material 2017

 

Me – the ‘small print’

 

I wrote this three years ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant.

 

Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Fabian Perez

 

Beliefs

 

I am sometimes asked, usually by those who cannot understand my devout atheism, what I believe in.

There is an inference that, if I do not believe in a god, specifically the one they believe in, then I cannot be a good man. They argue that without a code then I am somehow morally bankrupt.

Here then, is my code. It is by no means original, but it is simple. It can be summed up in just six words

They are :

Diversity
Tolerance
Inclusion
Equality
Human Kindness

I did think about writing here and explaining the nature, the relevance, the importance of each element – in isolation and holistically. But that would be preaching – something to which I have a great aversion.

Except to say that I personally feel these beliefs are core to a family, a community, a country, a world living in harmony. I live and breathe by them.

And I have yet to find a mainstream religion or a political manifesto which truly embraces all five of them.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

It disappoints and depresses me that, in the four years since writing this, the leadership and politics of ALL major countries have shifted further (in some cases dramatically) towards positions directly opposed to the above principles. And religion … well … best left unsaid.

Photo by Schlegel Doyle

 

You can’t argue with stupid

 

You can’t have a rational argument with stupid people when it comes to Brexit or the General Election.

Or with racists.

Half the country voted to leave the European Union in 2016. For most of them, it is still the overriding issue in deciding who to vote for in this coming election. That is despite every single financial forecast (including official Government figures) showing that the country will be much worse off leaving the European Union. Indeed the country will be much poorer for at least a generation. The poorest in our society will suffer the most.

Brexit supporters talk of ‘taking back control’ but have no idea which EU laws have been passed that apparently controlled us. In reality, these ‘EU’ laws have mainly given rights and protections to (British) workers and consumers. But what Brexiteers really mean about ‘taking back control’ is that they don’t want immigration and they don’t like ‘foreigners’.  And yet without immigration, we will simply not have enough people to fill jobs across many sectors, particularly health and social care, but also the hospitality industry and farming. The pinch is already being felt. It will get much worse, believe me.

And of course, to get their beloved Brexit, many Brexiteers will vote Tory.

The same Tory party that started their term in office ten years ago by cutting tax for the wealthy and for business and have since gone on to wreck the National Health Service, welfare and social care, education, the police force, the justice system, the parole system – indeed – there is no part of British life that they have not, through incompetence, greed, corruption, idleness, or sheer ugly political dogma, damaged. The fabric of our society has been ripped apart.

Tories will claim it has been because of the need for austerity, yet the deficit is as big as ever and the country is very close to recession once more. We are now a much poorer country in every respect. The human cost in suffering has been unacceptable. The rise of food banks, homelessness, gang violence amongst the young, and the removal of support for those with serious mental and physical disabilities are all the result of Tory cuts. The Tory refusal to invest directly in schools, hospitals and affordable housing when interest rates have been at an all-time low is beyond belief. Meanwhile the rich in the UK have become richer and richer.

Yet Brexiteers and surprisingly some people who have lost the most and have the most to lose from another Tory government will still vote for Boris Johnston. An old Etonian from a privileged background who as no affinity whatsoever with the working woman or man. A compulsive liar, racist, fraud, and misogynist who has been fired twice for dishonesty. A man who has no grasp of detail, no vision, no decency. A man who bumbles through every interview and question with a string of moronic cliches. A man who will do anything to win power. Including promising a programme of expenditure that a Tory party would never ever usually promise. And which he knows they will never deliver. But however large these promised sums are, they cannot repair the damage that has been done to Britain and its communities over the last ten years.

But Boris doesn’t care. He simply wants power. He who leads a Tory party that has strands of pure fascism in its manifesto. A party that will bring this country to its knees. A party that will make the huge rift in our society even deeper.

Brexiteers will vote for Boris mainly because he has promised them their xenophobic, ill-informed, racist Brexit. They will vote for him because the Daily Mail, The Sun, The Express, The Telegraph and the Times (owned by people who pay little tax in the UK and have their own money-making agendas for wanting to see Britain out of Europe – and they hate the Labour Party) have told them to do so. They will vote for him because there are significant amounts of money and lies being poured into advertising and manipulation on social media by faceless organisations or governments who also have their own agendas in supporting Brexit – as they did with the Referendum itself.

They will vote for him because they are stupid. Or racist. Or both.

There is no rational argument that can address that.

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© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Photo © Matt Cardy/Getty Images

 

Beliefs

 

I am sometimes asked, usually by those who cannot understand my devout atheism, what I believe in.

There is an inference that, if I do not believe in a god, specifically the one they believe in, then I cannot be a good man. They argue that without a code then I am somehow morally bankrupt.

Here then, is my code. It is by no means original, but it is simple. It can be summed up in just six words

They are :

Diversity
Tolerance
Inclusion
Equality
Human Kindness

I did think about writing here and explaining the nature, the relevance, the importance of each element – in isolation and holistically. But that would be preaching – something to which I have a great aversion.

Except to say that I personally feel these beliefs are core to a family, a community, a country, a world living in harmony. I live and breathe by them.

And I have yet to find a mainstream religion or a political manifesto which truly embraces all five of them.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

It disappoints and depresses me that, in the three years since writing this , the leadership and politics of ALL major countries have shifted further (in some cases dramatically) towards positions directly opposed to the above principles. And religion … well … best left unsaid.

Photo by Schlegel Doyle

 

Me – the small print

 

I wrote this a year ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant

Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Fabian Perez