I have know it forever
This desire for sexual control.
It seems as if I was never innocent. My childhood seemed full of yearnings beyond my years. My teens were confusing. I adored women utterly. Everything about them. Mind to body to soul. I saw women as superior human beings – intellectually, emotionally and, of course, sheer heaven physically. I still do. More than my equal. Goddesses to be worshipped.
Yet somehow at the same time I needed to direct, to restrain, to control, to impose pleasure, and perhaps a little pain. Though not without consent. The consent, the giving up of sexual free will, was what made it, and makes it, so deeply erotic.
All around me, in those pre-internet days, were sexual images and physical relationships that were so depressingly vanilla – though I would have never have known that description then. D/s was not the glossy, fashionable, female-fantasy, multi million pound, mainstream media (FSOG) phenomena it is now.
Over the years, with a number of lovers, I began to learn the nature of my desire. I discovered, then ignored, the world of BDSM with its often ugly misogyny and extremes. It did not sit with my poetry or my romantic dominance. I developed my own path, my own direction, almost my own sexual handbook.
And as I grew to understand the extraordinary nature of submissive woman, so I mastered the many diverse pathways to giving her overwhelming pleasure through control. Physically or at a distance.
So I am here. Romantic Dominant. Older and wiser. A man completely at home with his sexual self.
The sole priest of his own dark D/s religion.
I am amazed to find I wrote this only a year ago. These days I sometimes barely recognise myself.
© the author writing as Romantic Dominant
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