Some might have been surprised by my tweet on Twitter earlier.
Perhaps for a number of readers it might seem an unusual, even an unlikely thing, for a man who is ‘hard wired’ to sexually dominate, control and ‘own’ women to write like this. I shall explain in a moment.
But first of all, why do I find women so incredible?
Basically, because no matter how badly, unfairly, carelessly, cruelly, immorally, and disrespectfully we men have treated women down the centuries, women have not bowed to brutality, persecution, discrimination, patronization, and thoughtlessness. Even when today – even in the ridiculously called ‘first’ world – the situation is still oppressive.
- The major religions all denigrate, marginalize, and subjugate women to a lesser or greater extent.
- Pay levels across the globe have been kept universally lower for women. (Even in ‘enlightened’ Hollywood male actors still earn more)
- Men still occupy the majority of key and middle positions in government and business. There is no real equality of opportunity.
- Sexual crimes, harassment, intimidation, and sexually inappropriate behavior are still institutional almost everywhere. The previous President of the United States (Trump) is a clear example of it. There is still a belief among many men (and sadly some women) that rape can be justified or excused. It can never be under any circumstances. See here.
- Men are often allowed to walk away from the physical (and often financial) responsibility of fatherhood, expecting women to rear children. And regardless of whether the man is there or not, the woman is still often expected to take on the majority of childcare, running the house, and go to work.
- Even in the USA in around half the states there is no legal limitation on the minimum age of the bride.
I could go on. Forever. Some things maybe are better now than they were once. But it is truly miserable. And the pace of change is glacial.
But despite everything women have bravely battled and fought, and are still doing so. And they are proving, at last that, if there is a more resourceful, adaptable, intelligent and braver sex – then women are it. Because to succeed in living fulfilling and happy lives in such a misogynist and hostile environment takes far more than most men will ever give credit, or even attempt to understand.
And where does D/s – as it relates to me – sit in all of this?
It has very little to do with it.
Sexual D/s is a consensual act or agreement between two people where one gives up their sexual free will to the other. The reason they do this is because it arouses, excites and completes them. It is the way they both are. Of course a Dominant or a submissive can be a man or a woman and vice versa.
But if there is one thing about D/s that does relate to all I have said in this post, then it is this. If any male Dominant thinks he is somehow above, more important or better than his female submissive then he really needs to take a long hard look at himself.
Because he has clearly lost the plot.
And proved my point.
Women are more than equal to men.
I wrote this, and the tweet, five years ago. I re-post both today. Things are happening, and perhaps, very slowly, the tide is turning. But it is a massive ocean that needs to change.
© the author writing as Romantic Dominant/Faded Romantic
Art from UN International Women’s Day promotional material 2017