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Category Archives: politics

International Women’s day and sexual D/s

 

Some might have been surprised by my tweet on Twitter earlier today.

Perhaps for a number of readers it might seem an unusual, even an unlikely thing, for a man who is ‘hard wired’ to sexually dominate, control and ‘own’ women to write like this. I shall explain in a moment.

But first of all, why do I find women so incredible?

Basically, because no matter how badly, unfairly, carelessly, cruelly, immorally, and disrespectfully we men have treated women down the centuries, women have not bowed to brutality, persecution, discrimination, patronization, and thoughtlessness. Even when today – even in the ridiculously called ‘first’ world – the situation is still oppressive.

  • The major religions all denigrate, marginalize, and subjugate women to a lesser or greater extent.
  • Pay levels across the globe have been kept universally lower for women. (Even in ‘enlightened’ Hollywood male actors still earn more)
  • Men still occupy the majority of key and middle positions in government and business. There is no real equality of opportunity.
  • Sexual crimes, harassment, intimidation, and sexually inappropriate behavior are still institutional almost everywhere. The previous President of the United States (Trump) is a clear example of it. There is still a belief among many men (and sadly some women) that rape can be justified or excused. It can never be under any circumstances. See here.
  • Men are often allowed to walk away from the physical (and often financial) responsibility of fatherhood, expecting women to rear children. And regardless of whether the man is there or not, the woman is still often expected to take on the majority of childcare, running the house, and go to work.
  • Even in the USA in around half the states there is no legal limitation on the minimum age of the bride.

I could go on. Forever. Some things maybe are better now than they were once. But it is truly miserable. And the pace of change is glacial.

But despite everything women have bravely battled and fought, and are still doing so. And they are proving, at last that, if there is a more resourceful, adaptable, intelligent and braver sex – then women are it. Because to succeed in living fulfilling and happy lives in such a misogynist and hostile environment takes far more than most men will ever give credit, or even attempt to understand.

And where does D/s – as it relates to me – sit in all of this?

It has very little to do with it.

Sexual D/s is a consensual act or agreement between two people where one gives up their sexual free will to the other. The reason they do this is because it arouses, excites and completes them. It is the way they both are. Of course a Dominant or a submissive can be a man or a woman and vice versa.

But if there is one thing about D/s that does relate to all I have said in this post, then it is this. If any male Dominant thinks he is somehow above, more important or better than his female submissive then he really needs to take a long hard look at himself.

Because he has clearly lost the plot.

And proved my point.

Women are more than equal to men.

.

.

I wrote this, and the tweet, four years ago. I re-post both today. Much has happened in the last twelve months, and perhaps the tide is turning. But it is a massive ocean that needs to change.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art from UN International Women’s Day promotional material 2017

 

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Me – the ‘small print’

 

I wrote this three years ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant.

 

Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Fabian Perez

 
18 Comments

Posted by on February 17, 2021 in politics, Still Life, Uncategorized

 

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A holy season

lonely_road_by_diginoobsi-d34ahxt

 

A Holy Season

.

It is a holy season.

Cruel winds

shrill at the corners

scrub my face raw.

I hear a choir

dying in every gust.

.

It is a holy season.

Ragged chanting

from the perennial faithful

to celebrate birth.

.

It is a holy season.

Merciless children

torment the purses

of betrayed mothers,

extracting promises

like teeth.

.

It is a holy season.

Her head rests

blind

on my shoulder

leaking tears.

Her dead breath

is captured

in my curls.

.

It is a holy season.

I will undress it,

blue-fingered torture

from collar

to spine.

.

It is a holy season.

Licking thin lips

fresh with the taste

of salt and blood.

.

It is a holy season.

The meek

dream of inheritance

while the mighty

steal the shirts

from their backs.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Written during a bitter winter long ago when I lost my heart, my words, and the last tattered remnants of faith – in religion, in politics, in big business. In the time since I wrote this the rich have become far richer all over the world. And much more skilled at lying, cheating, bullying and stealing. Hence Trump, Johnson and many others.

It has become a ritual for me to post this every year. An antidote to the commercialism and tacky sentimentality that the season swims in.

photograph borrowed from diginoobsi

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 24, 2020 in Poetry, politics, Still Life

 

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Whatever I do

 

Music and writing

acting and directing

Pilates and exercising

rambling and hiking

exploring and skiing

reading and watching

eating and drinking

driving and meeting

dressing and showering

sleeping and waking

whatever I do

I cannot stop thinking

about you.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Not brand new. But whatever I do …

Art by William Oxer

 

 
8 Comments

Posted by on November 3, 2020 in politics, romance, Still Life

 

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Incitement to rape?

a99278_sexual-assault_4

I have published this post four times before, but it feels like a good time to post it again.

 

First posted September 1st 2015

Sometimes I get serious

It seems an ageing female rock star recently suggested in an interview with one of our sad excuses for a serious newspaper that women/girls who dress provocatively should expect to be molested – or worse – by men.

I can only believe she was misquoted – I haven’t read the article so I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

But let me be quite clear.

What a woman or girl wears is entirely her business. It can be sexy and revealing. It can be wild and kinky, It can be ‘slutty’ and sultry. It doesn’t matter. It is entirely her choice. It is her choice to make without fear of harassment, without threat of misogyny, without the danger of some sad prick believing it justifies any attention at all beyond silent admiration.

How a woman acts is equally up to her. If she wants to be a vamp. a princess, a tease, or a kitten she can. If she wants to get, drunk, stoned, utterly out of her mind it isn’t a cry for some mindless moron to take advantage of her, or see it as a come-on, or as an excuse to say she has got it coming to her.

So if you are a man who has so little control of himself that he thinks every scantily clad girl acting outrageously gives him the right to force himself on her, then I would suggest chemical castration is probably too good for you.

And if you are a woman who looks down your nose at someone of your own sex who exercises the freedom to be herself, or thinks that girls bring it on themselves, then all you are doing is colluding with the apes.

In a case of rape (or sexual assault) the woman or girl is never, ever at fault.  Even if she changes her mind at the very last minute, that is her prerogative, her choice, her right.  If a man ‘cannot stop himself’ then he is no more than an animal and deserves to be treated like one.

There is never, repeat never, any justification for rape or any form of harassment, nor can any action by a woman ever be considered as incitement.

 

At some point I shall give my perspective on those who bleat and argue that ‘immodesty among women is against our religion, or is not part of our culture’. Attacking that misogynist, hypocritical, bullying shit deserves a whole post to itself.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Photo taken from Pinterest. Unsure of source. If it is yours please let me know and I will remove or credit.

 
 

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Beliefs

 

I am sometimes asked, usually by those who cannot understand my devout atheism, what I believe in.

There is an inference that, if I do not believe in a god, specifically the one they believe in, then I cannot be a good man. They argue that without a code then I am somehow morally bankrupt.

Here then, is my code. It is by no means original, but it is simple. It can be summed up in just six words

They are :

Diversity
Tolerance
Inclusion
Equality
Human Kindness

I did think about writing here and explaining the nature, the relevance, the importance of each element – in isolation and holistically. But that would be preaching – something to which I have a great aversion.

Except to say that I personally feel these beliefs are core to a family, a community, a country, a world living in harmony. I live and breathe by them.

And I have yet to find a mainstream religion or a political manifesto which truly embraces all five of them.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

It disappoints and depresses me that, in the four years since writing this, the leadership and politics of ALL major countries have shifted further (in some cases dramatically) towards positions directly opposed to the above principles. And religion … well … best left unsaid.

Photo by Schlegel Doyle

 
9 Comments

Posted by on April 22, 2020 in politics, Still Life, Uncategorized

 

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My idea of hell

 

I often fill my Sundays with music.

Usually a rich and eclectic mix of sounds from all over the world.

Different genres, different, times, different countries.

I long ago realised that I like music the way I like people.

Diverse in age, sex and sexuality, ethnicity, colour, language and culture.

I realised too that my idea of hell is a place entirely populated by straight white people.

Like me.

 

 

NB  Obviously the painting represents more my idea of heaven than one of hell.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Not brand new, but always true, and the way I often spend my Sundays

Art by Larry Poncho Brown

 
12 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2020 in Music, Poetry, politics, Still Life

 

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Giving herself up

 

She feels sacred

she feels profane

she will give herself up

holy and heathen

pure and dirty

to his gently romantic

darkly erotic

sexual religion.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by William Oxer

 
3 Comments

Posted by on March 30, 2020 in D/s, politics, Still Life

 

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Me – the small print

 

I wrote this two years ago. Since then I have gained new followers, and some may have missed it. I would hate readers to be under any illusions about the man and writer behind Romantic Dominant.

 

Some followers on WordPress and Twitter are surprised and disappointed when I express political or general opinions, outside of what they ‘expect’ from me. A number unfollowed me today after my recent tweet mocking the ludicrous idea that more guns make for a safer society.

Rather than you all unfollow me in an untidy fashion as you realise that I am not quite what you expected, I have decided to post this ‘small print’ about me, so all those who wish to take offence at my beliefs can disappear at once. I am certain there is something in here to upset most people but I do feel obliged to come clean about the man behind the writer.

I am white, male, English and middle-aged.
I am a socialist.
I am an atheist.
I am not poor (or particularly rich) by UK standards, and certainly not poor by world standards.
I would rather live in a poor, caring, fair society than a rich, uncaring, unfair one.
I believe all lives, whoever, wherever, are equal.
I believe all human beings have a right to food, water, and shelter
I believe we are all responsible for the safety and well-being of the children of the world.
I abhor discrimination by race, country of origin, sex (in the widest possible sense), age, religion (even though I am an atheist) and I abhor discrimination due to (lack of) wealth or education.
I abhor misogyny and the oppression and abuse of women in all societies
I abhor discrimination against those who face mental or physical challenges, or who are simply not like the ‘norm’.
I believe it is totally unacceptable that 1% of the world’s population own 50% of the world’s wealth, and that the gap between rich and poor globally is widening.
I think capitalism without morality has failed the majority
I hate the cult of money, and also the cult of celebrity.
I despise fervent nationalism or tribalism because it seldom leads to good outcomes. Flags should be reserved for sporting events.

There is probably more, but I am as bored with writing this as you probably are with reading it. Those who have decided to leave have probably left. There is more about me here and here if you can be bothered.

Please exit quietly. Hopefully some will remain.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Fabian Perez

 

 
13 Comments

Posted by on February 17, 2020 in politics, Still Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A holy season

lonely_road_by_diginoobsi-d34ahxt

 

A Holy Season

.

It is a holy season.

Cruel winds

shrill at the corners

scrub my face raw.

I hear a choir

dying in every gust.

.

It is a holy season.

Ragged chanting

from the perennial faithful

to celebrate birth.

.

It is a holy season.

Merciless children

torment the purses

of betrayed mothers,

extracting promises

like teeth.

.

It is a holy season.

Her head rests

blind

on my shoulder

leaking tears.

Her dead breath

is captured

in my curls.

.

It is a holy season.

I will undress it,

blue-fingered torture

from collar

to spine.

.

It is a holy season.

Licking thin lips

fresh with the taste

of salt and blood.

.

It is a holy season.

The meek

dream of inheritance

while the mighty

steal the shirts

from their backs.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Written during a bitter winter long ago when I lost my heart, my words, and the last tattered remnants of faith – in religion, in politics, in big business. In the time since I wrote this the rich have become far richer all over the world. And much more skilled at lying, cheating, bullying and stealing. Hence Trump, Johnson and many others.

It has become a ritual for me to post this every year. An antidote to the commercialism and tacky sentimentality that the season swims in.

photograph borrowed from diginoobsi

 
4 Comments

Posted by on December 24, 2019 in Poetry, politics, Still Life

 

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