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Romantics will hate this

22 Jun

Art by Anne Magill

Romantics will hate this ..

Devoting oneself exclusively to one person, and having one person exclusively devoted to you – forever – is a fairy story.

Even if it were possible, it is not in itself a ‘good’ thing.

We live long, we grow, we adapt, we evolve. We become different people. If one is the same person at fifty as one was at thirty then twenty years have been wasted. If our experiences, our knowledge, our expectations, our joys and disappointments have not affected, moulded, shaped us – then what are we doing with our lives?

Our hopes, our dreams, our desires are not fixed and constant. They are subject to modification, alteration, augmentation, cancellation. They are replaced by different goals. Different objectives. We like and dislike different things. We find we develop different tastes and wants and needs for fulfilment – intellectually, emotionally, sexually.

And life itself is diverse, unpredictable and ever-changing. Opportunity and threat, tragedy and comedy, disease and good fortune are always close.

And we are human. Most of all we are individuals. We arrive and leave this earth alone. We are incredibly strong but also undeniably weak. And love is powerful and wonderful. Yet it can be fickle and careless.

I believe that in all our relationships, even when they overlap, if we can honestly and truly give the most and best that we are able of ourselves, it is more than enough.

And for the romantics who believe in everlasting love and happy ever after …

I applaud you.

.

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© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Anne Magill

 

 

 
43 Comments

Posted by on June 22, 2016 in Still Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

43 responses to “Romantics will hate this

  1. thewildflower72

    June 22, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Reblogged this on wildflower and commented:
    Meine Gedanken auf eine wunderbare Weise wiedergegeben. Danke dafür ❤
    Original posted by/on https://afadedromantic.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 1 person

     
  2. Kendra Lynn

    June 22, 2016 at 3:52 pm

    I’ve observed so-called “perfect relationships”. It’s so far from perfect. It’s actually more disheartening to see the perfect people pretend & then talk horribly about their partner when alone. Happens so much, it makes me sick. And it’s made me question everything about love. Society’s definition is so fractured & polluted.

    In short, dear Sir. I’m sitting over here cross-legged, reading your words, & instinctively nodding my head. There’s a deep truth here.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      June 22, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      Smiles. Maintaining appearance of the perfect couple is often corrosive. And the expectations of individuals of their relationship are often impossible. We should accept that every relationship, like every person, is unique, and will follow its own path in its own way. Those that have longevity and fulfilment have usually accommodated the needs of the other in ways that have allowed them both joy. Smiles.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • Kendra Lynn

        June 22, 2016 at 4:07 pm

        Ok. Well. I don’t know why I’m blushing, but I am. I think I just have a dark mind. Your answer is poetic.

        Liked by 1 person

         
  3. what sandra thinks

    June 22, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    I consider myself a romantic, but I agree with this. People change, and the likelihood of two changing the same way at the same times is nil. It will never be as it once was, whether that was “perfect” or not…

    Liked by 1 person

     
  4. Leslie Meeks

    June 22, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    And this is the very reason I will never say I do. The very reason I will never say I love you. The very reason I shelter myself. And the very reason I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am too old to get attached and then someone decide to move on. Perhaps I am set in my ways by now. I would like to think I am a romantic, but perhaps it is only in my dreams and fantasies. I live in the real world. I know how things happen. As you, for the romantics out there and who are truly happy in their life. I applaud and am happy for them.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  5. justagirllost2

    June 22, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    ‘I believe that in all our relationships, even when they overlap, if we can honestly and truly give the most and best that we are able of ourselves, it is more than enough.’

    This, what you wrote above, truly profound and so beautiful.

    I do not believe romance is ever dead. It is what makes the world go round! It is seeing the beauty beyond what the eye sees, isn’t it?
    But, always, a but, we all need that ONE who truly KNOWS us and ‘gets’ us, you know? Not as eloquent as you, but my words.
    Thank you for such a lovely post

    Liked by 3 people

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      June 22, 2016 at 7:02 pm

      It is rare that ‘one’ can be everything.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • justagirllost2

        June 22, 2016 at 7:13 pm

        I concur, but I do believe it is possible. I also like the idea that with so much beauty in the universe love multiplies and people become better because of it, if that makes sense?

        Like

         
        • Romantic Dominant

          June 22, 2016 at 10:06 pm

          I have no argument against romance – only questioning the holy grail of monogamy

          Liked by 1 person

           
          • justagirllost2

            June 22, 2016 at 11:00 pm

            ah, yes. Monogamy.
            The way I see it is that monogamy is the ideal;
            as in, 1 man + 1 woman = children = family = 1 society kept cohesive and whole
            An ideal that Humanity has screwed up royally

            Liked by 1 person

             
            • Romantic Dominant

              June 22, 2016 at 11:08 pm

              I disagree but haven’t the energy to debate it.

              Liked by 1 person

               
              • justagirllost2

                June 22, 2016 at 11:18 pm

                then we shall agree to disagree most agreeably as all the truly civilized do. 😉 I hope you find restoration and sweetness in your dreams this night.

                Liked by 1 person

                 
  6. Devote Romantikerin

    June 22, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Rationally well argued.
    Still, I see no sense in “as long as it fits”. Then there would be no reason in submitting for me. If I am devoting my everything to him, I want to mean it.

    You were talking about personal developement. That is, for me, the heart of a romantic and lifelong relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

     
  7. Heartafire

    June 22, 2016 at 7:54 pm

    I’m not a romantic, I am a realist. I have been in love many times, married twice, I believe in commitment even when the thrill is gone, the key word; negotiate.

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      June 22, 2016 at 10:03 pm

      Smiles. I do not disagree. My argument is around exclusive devotion for a lifetime which, like a divine beings, I do not believe in.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • Heartafire

        June 22, 2016 at 11:25 pm

        A lifetime…that is a long time. Smiles. I feel certain divine beings exist. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

         
  8. redklwr2006 Kym

    June 22, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    Happily ever after is not something that I have ever needed as I knew it was a Fairy Tale. While I like a good happy ending as much as the next person, reality is often quite different. I really only need respect, as I can manage the rest on my own.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  9. missmirthe

    June 22, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    My parents were maried over 50 years, and still would be had he not past away in may.and so I have to believe.easy, no, rare, probably but possible.I honestly believe some people in any kind of relationship just give up to easy. (Note: I said SOME 🙂 )

    Liked by 2 people

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      June 22, 2016 at 10:10 pm

      Your use of ‘give up too easi;y’ makes it sound like a long term relationship is to be endured. Smiles. I have no problem with the concept of a couple staying together – but believe it is rare that it can be done without a compromise that enables them to do so. The nature of those compromises will determine whether it is better to stay together, or accomodate, or part.

      Liked by 1 person

       
      • missmirthe

        June 23, 2016 at 1:00 am

        Not endured but it does take effort.good to hear that you have no trouble with it smiles yes it’s rare but maybe it should not be.you almost make it sound like you feel compromising is bad?I do not think love is a bizz.deal.give and take is something one must do in any kind of relationship

        Liked by 1 person

         
  10. emdimensional

    June 22, 2016 at 10:53 pm

    Over my lifetime, I have been many different people. None of the great loves of my life were permanent installments, and had they been, I would never have gotten to experience all the different aspects of myself that I have lived through.

    That said, I’m still a romantic at heart and still desire that one person who is so similar and opposite and in flux and adaptable that the many faces of me yet to be revealed will all still captivate and enthrall them.

    A girl can dream.

    Liked by 3 people

     
  11. MysticalKitty

    June 23, 2016 at 3:13 am

    Reblogged this on Journaling my Surrender.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  12. therebelliousangel

    June 29, 2016 at 6:19 am

    I am a romantic and do agree with you. I married the wrong person. (I am submissive and he is my Dominant.) Nonetheless I have seen amazing fairytale marriages – mine is just not one of them. I have never felt I am capable of true love, having grown up in a terribly dysfunctional home. However, I dream and fantasize of what it would be like to be younger again and make a different choice, or truly to be madly in love. The human psyche is capable of deep and abiding love, sadness, super-human strength and weakness. Happily, I too am a writer and live vicariously through my characters.

    Cheers, Sir, I enjoy your writing immensely.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  13. Xtac

    July 8, 2016 at 12:05 am

    I am one of those hopeless romantics. Hope spring eternal. I am nearly 60, have never experienced a significant relationship that continued to be awesome for more than five years and yet still think it is possible for a relationship to be constantly renewing, fresh, loving, and happy.

    People do not give enough thought and study to the very serious business of being happy. From a certain spiritual perspective, happiness is always quite possible, yet we let it elude us through constant distractions and drama. If however two people were to be of the same mind, in constant pursuit of this goal, and dedicated to supporting each other in this, I think a sustained and happy relation is quite possible. I am also equally sure that I am one half of that possibility.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  14. justagirllost2

    July 15, 2016 at 2:04 am

    I get it now…
    Congratulations… 🙂
    enjoy

    Liked by 1 person

     

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