Sometimes I get serious
It seems an ageing female rock star recently suggested in an interview with one of our sad excuses for a serious newspaper that women/girls who dress provocatively should expect to be molested – or worse – by men.
I can only believe she was misquoted – I haven’t read the article so I will give her the benefit of the doubt.
But let us be quite clear.
What a women or girl wears is entirely her business. It can be sexy and revealing. It can be wild and kinky, It can be ‘slutty’ and sultry. It doesn’t matter. It is entirely her choice. It is her choice to make without fear of harassment, without threat of misogyny, without the danger of some sad prick believing it justifies any attention at all beyond silent admiration.
How a women acts is equally up to her. If she want to be a vamp. a princess, a tease, or a kitten she can. If she wants to get, drunk, stoned, utterly out of her mind it isn’t a cry for some mindless moron to take advantage of her, or see it as a come-on, or as an excuse to say she has got it coming to her.
So if you are a man who has so little control of himself that he thinks every scantily clad girl acting outrageously gives him the right to force himself on her, then I would suggest chemical castration is probably too good for you.
And if you are a woman who looks down your nose at someone of your own sex who exercises the freedom to be herself, or thinks that girls bring it on themselves, then all you are doing is colluding with the apes.
You, dear lady, are the one who should be ashamed of herself.
.
.
© the author writing as Romantic Dominant
Photo taken from Pinterest. Unsure of source. If yours please let me know to remove
sirensong1208
September 1, 2015 at 9:35 pm
Exactly. Perfectly said…
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 9:43 pm
Smiles. Thank you.
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Karin
September 1, 2015 at 9:47 pm
I wrote a paragraph and deleted it… The core of your post is perfectly correct. We need to teach boys to not rape, not teaching girls how not to be raped.
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 9:48 pm
Smiles. Indeed.
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missameliaandsir
September 1, 2015 at 9:51 pm
I completely agree with almost everything you said. My one but has to do with the females. NO man has any RIGHT to do ANYTHING to a woman that she doesn’t want him to do. EVER! However, I have also instructed my children, son and daughter alike, that it doesn’t mean you can go out, get stupid drunk, do things you would have never done sober and then blame someone else for it after you sober up. My son needs to protect himself from females who would blame him the next morning and my daughter must keep her wits about her enough to NEVER leave herself open to situational predators. I would hate to have to spend the rest of my life in prison for killing someone. I hope I have made my point clear. It is NEVER the victims fault, just don’t set yourself up to be the victim.
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 9:57 pm
Wise words. Yet a shame they have to be said.
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missameliaandsir
September 1, 2015 at 10:18 pm
It is truly a shame. Although, I am afraid we must warn our sons and daughters alike. Regretting your choices or bad decisions does not constitute rape. And when you claim it does, you do a grave disservice to those who were truly robbed of their consent. It seems silly to tell people to not be stupid, but DAMN, don’t be stupid. 😊
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monkey
September 1, 2015 at 9:56 pm
Hear, Hear!
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 9:57 pm
Smiles
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Heartafire
September 1, 2015 at 10:02 pm
I love that you wrote this Mr. D. I couldn’t agree more. Women (and men) are entitled to dress as they like without fear of being molested by someone who is out of control and fail to respect boundaries. We are free to look but not touch unless clearly invited. Young men need to learn that they need to protect themselves by controlling their impulses, as we all must, otherwise they could face a very devastating outcome.
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 10:06 pm
Smiles. Indeed it is so.
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Leslie Meeks
September 1, 2015 at 10:03 pm
As a victim of physical violence and almost this shameful act, I couldn’t agree more.
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 10:07 pm
It is, always was, and always will be unacceptable
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Leslie Meeks
September 1, 2015 at 10:11 pm
Very much so..
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April
September 1, 2015 at 10:17 pm
You clearly know that I agree with this post. I am glad more men are stepping up and advocating for a consent culture instead of our current rape culture. To assume sexual assault based on clothing choices equally assumes awful things about men as it does about women. Men are not just mindless animals and women are not just soulless playthings. I also agree with your distinction about adult consenting relationships. It seems we cannot win sometimes, we are either a victim or a slut or a Madonna. The space for adult consenting sexuality is so tricky in this society…clearly I could write a book… Anyway, I appreciate this serious post. Thank you.
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 10:42 pm
Smiles. And thank you. You are right. You could have probably written this post better than me.
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April
September 1, 2015 at 10:52 pm
You flatter me, and undersell yourself. All voices in this fight are important. At some point the voices for consent will drown out those who would not believe or victim blame and those who would under-investigate, under-prosecute, under-punish.
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missmirthe
September 1, 2015 at 10:26 pm
Thank you for this X
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 10:32 pm
Smiles
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AmyRose🌹
September 1, 2015 at 10:39 pm
I’m in tears. Bless you for this post. I know what rape is first hand and that experience has never fully been put to rest. What YOU wrote here helped me tremendously to let go of something. I will be forever grateful to you. Bless you. (((HUGS))) Amy<3
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Romantic Dominant
September 1, 2015 at 10:41 pm
Smiles. I am sorry.
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AmyRose🌹
September 1, 2015 at 10:46 pm
Thank you. ❤
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red
September 2, 2015 at 12:31 am
I read that article. Her words made me livid and profoundly sad at the same time. Thank you for your words.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 11:59 am
Yes. Angry and sad.
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Rita (aka AnnieB)
September 2, 2015 at 1:01 am
Bravo!
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 11:59 am
Smiles
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darlingdebs
September 2, 2015 at 1:27 am
Awesom, simply awesom xx
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:00 pm
Thank you.
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eonserotica
September 2, 2015 at 2:17 am
I’ve always found it bizarre that our culture puts the onus of protecting oneself from rape on the victim, rather than putting responsibility for resisting the urge to rape on the predator. You wouldn’t tell someone who was hit by a drunk driver that they shouldn’t have been out there driving and creating obstacles for the drunks who might be on the road. You wouldn’t say to a friend whose home was burglarized that it was a mistake to design the house with windows and doors… might as well invite the thieves in, amiright?
So why, with rape victims, do we suddenly start making excuses for the rapist? Dressed that way, acting that way, she was asking for it? Please. Give your head a shake!
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:00 pm
Yes. Absolutely.
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MysticalKitty
September 2, 2015 at 2:33 am
Reblogged this on MysticalKitty.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Thank you for the re blog
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Ember
September 2, 2015 at 2:34 am
Mutual respect. 💕
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:01 pm
Smiles
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wispofsilence
September 2, 2015 at 2:43 am
Decade after decade..
this.
Sadly.
Well done,dear.
Thank you…
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:01 pm
It is hard to believe but yes. Thank you.
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emmylgant
September 2, 2015 at 3:50 am
Thank you for this most excellent defense of women.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:02 pm
Smiles. It is my nature to protect.
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sweetcreature
September 2, 2015 at 6:40 am
More people should be concient of that. Well writen. This increase even more my admiration for you.
>
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:03 pm
Smiles. Thank you.
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bmayes76
September 2, 2015 at 11:14 am
I completely agree with everything you wrote. I have never, in my life, heard a woman say “Gee, I think I’ll dress like this so perhaps I can be violated in only the worst way. Maybe someone will rape me.” Regardless of how one dresses, or acts, they NEVER have it coming to them nor did they ask for it.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 12:03 pm
Indeed. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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literally
September 2, 2015 at 1:59 pm
Wonderful and empowering. Thank you
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 4:51 pm
Smiles. Thank you.
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Leslie Meeks
September 2, 2015 at 4:58 pm
Reblogged this on Leslie Meeks.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 5:01 pm
Thank you for the re blog
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Leslie Meeks
September 2, 2015 at 5:04 pm
It is my pleasure. This one hit home with me.
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zigzagstripes
September 2, 2015 at 7:27 pm
Well said!
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 7:27 pm
Smiles. Thank you.
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henrywest
September 2, 2015 at 8:39 pm
I agree with the article it’s very well thought out. I agree with the comments.
I’m very frustrated that some will have “the man” as nothing but a rapist waiting for an unknowing woman or someone to be the victim. We are not all rapist and as men we need to stand against this “oh you just can’t control yourself” BS. Most men can think and are not searching for victims. Most are very respectful of others. We are not predators. To reduce men to this level means that chemical castration and burkas are the only answers. Those who make excuses for such behavior are only perpetuating the problem. Everyone needs to avoid harmful situations. To use the car analogy when you are driving you turn to stay on the road not turning you’ll end up in the ditch. Common sense says turn the steering wheel. That is, be wise and try your best to turn the wheel and avoid the ditch.
It’s the power and control over others that the sociopath/psychotic/predator desires.
Also
People need ways to express themselves. Sitting alone playing video games, watching porn and watching violence internalizes all of that. It will come out sooner or later. We do get desensitized. I’m not blaming the above mentioned pass times, we’ve had sociopaths through out history. Now we have newer and better ways to isolate ourselves from others. I think our isolation, our exposure and our restrictions on expression feed into aggressive behavior. And doping everyone who expresses themselves doesn’t help either.
When it’s finally time to interact with others we do so with anger, fear and aggression.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 8:41 pm
I think you might have missed the point. There should be no ditch to avoid.
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henrywest
September 2, 2015 at 9:05 pm
I got the point. The ditch was referring to another comment warning others about not putting yourself in harms way. That is don’t be naive. There are predators.
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Romantic Dominant
September 2, 2015 at 9:15 pm
Of course there are. The question is how much a woman has to modify her behaviour because of it. And the judgement that, because she is not prepared to have her liberty and freedom curtailed, then she ‘deserved whatever she gets’. I am not talking about a small number of predators, I am talking about a society that should aspire to rise above the animal, not make allowances and excuses for a behavioural and control problem that sit firmly with the beast.
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henrywest
September 2, 2015 at 11:43 pm
I agree with you completely. Simple minded excuses are just diversions. Our modern life prefers the simple. Complexity is used to stifle debate. “Oh it’s too complex. There’s too much for you to understand. Let’s take the easy way out and blame the victim and the innocent”. It certainly is the favorite option of some of our business, media and political leaders. I often find if I would like to have a considerate and thoughtful conversation I’m met with sound bites and attack ads. The voices of reason are shouted down in the public debate. Though I think blogs offers a great place for conversation.
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Romantic Dominant
September 3, 2015 at 7:04 am
You are right. Indeed it is so.
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henrywest
September 3, 2015 at 1:00 pm
I appreciate your consideration. Sometimes it takes me a while to get to the point.
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Romantic Dominant
September 3, 2015 at 2:30 pm
Smiles
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JunkChuck
September 3, 2015 at 12:40 am
Damn straight. It’s a shame Ms. Hynde didn’t get the help and counseling she clearly needed back in the day–maybe she wouldn’t be carrying the heavy weight of self-loathing she’s clearly projecting.
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Romantic Dominant
September 3, 2015 at 7:05 am
It would seem that way.
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Mia Beleza
September 4, 2015 at 9:03 pm
Well said “Bravo”
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Romantic Dominant
September 4, 2015 at 10:55 pm
Thank you
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