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Not this time

09 Aug

each-other Loui Jover

All the sharp edges must be blunted.

Allow no memory that will cut you deep.

It is the first rule of failed relationship survival.

Do not let anything that can wound you come close. Delete every photograph, every video, every message, every mocking page of social media. All of those things that cause you to remember. Shut them down, block them out. Excommunicate, banish, excoriate, evict, scrub, cleanse, discard. Never dwell on what was done, what was said, the happiness, the joy, the hopes. Do not allow those sacred, lost moments to run like a loop in your mind.  Do not visit the places you once shared.

Do not remember her scent, her touch, her skin, her laughter. Most of all, do not recall how she loved you once. 

Blot her out.

Erase her.

There is no value in suffering. No point in allowing the hurt to mark you, damage you, blacken your days.

There is nothing to be gained from dwelling on the times when you were happy. Nor for blaming yourself for when they were not. You cannot bring back the past. And even if by some strange magic you could, it would never be the same. Time, events and distance change everything from the moment her fingers and lips leave you for the last time. She is not yours anymore. If indeed she ever was.

I have repeated all this to myself over and over again like a mantra. I know it all by heart. I know what to do and how to do it.

I know it better than anyone.

But I just can’t do it.

Not this time.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Loui Jover

 
24 Comments

Posted by on August 9, 2015 in Still Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

24 responses to “Not this time

  1. emmilywrites

    August 9, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    Oh my god…I felt those last few lines coming…and I know them by heart.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  2. franz

    August 9, 2015 at 6:33 pm

    your lines are true ….finding your match you can never blot them out from your life .

    Like

     
  3. Leslie Meeks

    August 9, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    Sometimes it’s hard to let go of something so beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  4. missameliaandsir

    August 9, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    I have decided to NOT “excommunicate, banish, excoriate, evict, scrub, cleanse, or discard,” because everything about my past has lead me to my current and will continue to guide my future. Oh, how I know that kind of pain, but isn’t it AMAZING when we can again find that kind of LOVE? 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

     
  5. Katypoetess

    August 9, 2015 at 7:26 pm

    I can truely empathise
    more than you will ever know
    but then that’s what makes
    the ink flow and flow…

    Liked by 1 person

     
  6. Katypoetess

    August 9, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    kindred spirits then, indeed….

    Liked by 1 person

     
  7. missmirthe

    August 9, 2015 at 9:07 pm

    Sad, it is so hard to deal with the pains that do not make you angry

    Liked by 1 person

     
  8. Kendra Lynn

    August 9, 2015 at 11:06 pm

    It’s a breath of fresh air to read the male perspective of a break up. It’s always the women’s view that we so often hear. This is an emotional & poignant piece. Lovely!!

    Liked by 1 person

     
  9. rebeccablackwords

    August 10, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Basically what Kendra Lynn said! There are a couple of lines in this piece that really make me feel it, but this is my favourite – “Most of all, do not recall how she loved you once.” It is a sad, but beautiful piece. Thank you for posting it.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  10. Ember

    August 10, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Tried all, but love just pierces the more you resist…

    Liked by 2 people

     
  11. Heartafire

    August 11, 2015 at 2:36 am

    The best laid plans can be the most difficult to accomplish. Beautifully poignant, Mr. D.

    Liked by 1 person

     
  12. georgeforfun Life's too short to be miserable or serious anymore!

    August 11, 2015 at 8:25 pm

    Reblogged this on georgeforfun.

    Like

     
  13. redgirl876

    August 12, 2015 at 9:55 am

    I felt that in my bones :/breadcrumbs So very deep and meaningful – and yes the temptation is to shut out the past but it is also part of our future too. Isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      August 12, 2015 at 5:58 pm

      It is. And the suffering moulds us and is part of who we are. Yet still the need to block the pain guides our actions.

      Liked by 1 person

       

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