I will not be happy

28 Apr

Sleeping Beauty

I have let the time slide past

I have not counted it, not numbered it, not measured it, not allowed it to register as having slipped away.

I have not marked it on the cruel grid of a calendar.

I have not allowed its tyranny to impose a structure on the passing of moments.

I have done all I can not to think about your illness or how long you have been gone.

Instead I think of you smiling, I imagine you laughing. I dream of you dancing.

I make plans for you.

I have let the time slide past.

I have not allowed it to mount up as hours, days or weeks.

All I know

is that I will not be happy again

until you are well.



© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

 Photo stolen from Quelarie83 (Serena Biagini)


Posted by on April 28, 2015 in Still Life


Tags: , , , ,

26 responses to “I will not be happy

  1. April

    April 28, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    I ache along with this one, it is raw, and that is commendable. I will not give you affirmations or platitudes, that is not my way. I tend to honor these emotions without ushering them away too quickly, they are fertile and as alive as any “positive” emotions. Thank you for sharing with us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hotlilmess

    April 28, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    That pain is so raw and real. I don’t know what else to say……

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Americana Injustica

    April 28, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    Reblogged this on Americana Injustica.


  4. Leslie Meeks

    April 28, 2015 at 5:36 pm

    Your pain is nonetheless real. You and yours will be in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Heartafire

    April 28, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    Beautifully expressed, my best always Mr. D. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. missmirthe

    April 28, 2015 at 7:58 pm

    a like seems wrong, out of place, but beautifully written.I feel I don’t know you long enough to say my thoughts are with you (but secretly they are)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. missameliaandsir

    April 28, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    Bless you, your love and your beautiful words. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mandy the Mollusc (@69quietgirl)

    April 28, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    A lovely piece of writing – so sad and so real. Thanks for doing us the honour of sharing your thoughts & feelings with us. I don’t know your situation, but you are in my thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. gsadiablo

    April 28, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    Oh, ow… *winces* The both of you are in my thoughts.
    Selfishly, though, I’m glad you can make something beautiful out of the situation and choose to share it with us. Very brave of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. b.l. ronan

    April 29, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    tears stream. if this is spoken in the space of real life, I send warning rays of health and healing x


  11. Darren Scanlon

    April 30, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. newsubmissivestranger

    May 2, 2015 at 10:53 pm

    I have read this many times, and each time I hope she is soon well. And I smile for her that someone like you thinks of her so deeply.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. lunargirl

    May 15, 2015 at 10:27 pm

    This touched different places inside, as I am sure it is meant to. It also comes close to home for me. I understand this feeling so completely. May we both find comfort, even while waiting.

    Liked by 1 person


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