I wrote this almost exactly a year ago. At the time I was thinking about someone specific with whom I had once been impossibly close. Yet it seems true of all my relationships. – once the girl has gone.
That longing for someone.
Sometimes difficult to untangle from other feelings. Friendship, admiration, wanting that which is not mine. Perhaps even love..
Desire has filled my days with breathlessness and with desperate hope. It has ruined sleep with longing and with twisted sheets.
And even when desire is requited, the hunger returns. Often before she is fully dressed. A glimpse of thigh to make my pulse quicken.
Yet where does it all go?
How does that impossible ache, that yearning, that hunger all disappear, disperse, evaporate? What happens to that seemingly endless need for the perfection of her skin, for the miracle of her cheekbones, for the eloquence of her eyes, the sculpture of her breasts, the geometry of her calves and thighs,
What is that quenches the flame?
I have reached the conclusion that it is her exit that extinguishes the light.
There is some defence within me that cannot long for that which does not wish to…
View original post 130 more words