On Sexual Submission Revisited

02 May



The true gift of a woman’s sexual submission is of value beyond measure.

It is not about the ill-informed clichés of inconsequential mummy-porn.  It is not about the feeble wet dreams of pimply schoolboys.  It is not about the vivid imaginings of hungry women in need of better sex. It is not about the testosterone-fuelled wishful fantasies of adult men who will never become mentally fully grown.

It is not another excuse for self-titled dominants to bully, humiliate, disrespect, brutalize or subjugate purely to satisfy their own misogynist needs.

The gift of submission is more than corporeal, greater than physical.

It is the conscious yielding up of sexual free will to serve another.  It is given because the ache, the longing, the overwhelming desire to submit is in her soul.  It is given because, bestowed upon the right man, she knows she will be excited, enlightened, satisfied and sexually aroused and deeply fulfilled.

In return the Dominant will respect and nurture her.  He will give her protection. He will be her guide, mentor, and master.  He will provide discipline and strength. He will create a framework in which she can grow, flourish and explore her own sexuality.

He will throw a secure and safe cloak about her shoulders.

He will make her proud and happy – and blessed – that she has given herself to him.



© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Photo stolen from Ami-S

This has been my most popular post to date. I re-blog it now at a time when I am uncertain about whether this blog is fit for the purpose I intended it.  Indeed, whether it serves any real purpose at all.


Posted by on May 2, 2013 in D/s, Still Life


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

47 responses to “On Sexual Submission Revisited

  1. thedreamingsub

    May 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Of course it serves a purpose. You are teaching others who are seeking information.


  2. ineedyoutoneedme

    May 2, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    Reblogged this on I NEED YOU TO NEED ME.


  3. Rabblefish

    May 2, 2013 at 6:26 pm

    Well..true submission is an act of complete surrender. It requires trust, and mutual respect. In my experience, many men who are self-professed “doms” fail to understand this.


  4. hotlilmess

    May 2, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    It serves purpose to at least one person. Thank you.


  5. sometimes

    May 2, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    The question I have is what was your intended purpose? Intention and purpose both change over time just like we do, in fact BECAUSE we do. But I try to think of my own blog as a timeline of sorts, a poetic diary, that traces my own life. Beyond that I must let it go and be what it will to those who read it. There is no way to predict how people will use what you write, and yet it seems you must write. THAT is why I like this blog. Because you write, I assume, from your own life. Authentic expression in all its varied forms is important and valuable. Because truthfully, very few people let themselves live/write that way. If it is no longer authentic, then perhaps there is a choice to be made. Either way keep writing, excavating, exploring, wherever and however you do it. You certainly didn’t ask my opinion, hope it is received how it was intended…which is from the heart.


    • Romantic Dominant

      May 4, 2013 at 4:14 pm

      Your words are always welcome, and your wise opinion of great value. I have much to ponder.


  6. Nirvani Teasley

    May 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    First I will say, I appreciate the seriousness and the reverence of which you show in your writing regarding this very controversial and touchy subject. This could apply to many other things in life. I think human beings have a misconception where submission is concerned. Most see it as a loss of power. In reality, at least from my perspective it is learning to trust wholeheartedly and there is some risk involved with that. But in the end it could prove the most powerful of all acts. In tantra, as in many other spiritual paths submitting is a crucial aspect. Submitting to the will of the Divine, submitting to Guru, submitting to is the same. Most never find that kind of enlightenment, because they cannot allow themselves to trust. Thank you for this well written prose!


    • Romantic Dominant

      May 4, 2013 at 4:15 pm

      Thank you for this well considered and intelligent perspective. I appreciate it.


  7. bcrcrider

    May 2, 2013 at 7:18 pm



  8. Master's Slave

    May 2, 2013 at 7:20 pm

    The most eloquent, the beauty of it, is that it also tunes our ears to hear the meaning of words that, if spoken under any other circumstances, could never mean the same except to those who know first hand. Just beautiful.


  9. Maggie Carpenter

    May 2, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    So interesting that you should post this today. I was thinking about it all morning – great minds perhaps? I was going to write something similar, but the expression of your insight and truth is parallel to mine and I could not pen anything to equal yours, so am re-blogging with some personal comments. Many thanks, Maggie.


  10. Master's Slave

    May 2, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Reblogged this on Master's Slave.


  11. jayne

    May 2, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    I’m like a cat watching through your window here. My question is, if I don’t “need” to be needed. If I hand myself over to you, as your own personal and private woman who willingly gives myself over to deeply experience and adapt to your domination because it is a fantastically adventurous, suprising, exhilarating exploration of sexuality that is completely (mostly) unpredictable, …is that still submission… since “NEED” is not driving me? The pleasure of it could become a need though, right? This is an honest inquiry.


  12. ktz2

    May 2, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    come on now, I believe you know this blog serves a purpose, for us ‘out here’ as well as for yourself.. Perhaps you’re just in a mood lately?- a respectful guess.


  13. carolinejuliette

    May 2, 2013 at 7:44 pm

    I completely agree with your definition. To trust another so implicitly is a difficult task but one that is the core of a submissive. The reason I like your blog is pure unadulterated fascination with your stories and your past. Other people can take away what they will. I guess the question is what is your intention? If only one person “gets in” then you are a success.


  14. emmylgant

    May 2, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    I read and marvel. You are too good a writer to stop. If not this forum, then another, but write. I learn from you, I am inspired by your craft. How is that for purpose? Smiles


  15. Magenta Nero

    May 2, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    oh, ok, i concede, you are wonderful.


  16. Phoebe Knight

    May 3, 2013 at 1:07 am

    I peek shyly from behind the curtain again. Yes. A purpose is served.


  17. obeyme15

    May 3, 2013 at 1:16 am

    Fullfillmenf, purpose and happiness. Its a wonderful thing to give our subs. For those of us who truly get our jobs as a Dom. Which in turn vives us the same… FULLFILLMENT


  18. janetebarbosa

    May 3, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Good morning, what a beautiful piece, it’s contents are something I’m learning a lot about. I’m very private and I often don’t disclose anything of myself here. However I am going to admit to belonging to a popular fetish website, one that caters for someone like myself. I am a switch by nature and am lucky enough to say that I believe I have found my ‘Dom’ in all the ways and for all the reasons that matter. The reason I am disclosing this to you is because, firstly you will no doubt understand what I am saying and secondly, to ask if you would publish these articles of yours on there? I would love to read them in a forum specifically for this. Not that it’s not wonderful to read here, but more that I’m curious to see what my fellow kinksters would say about your thoughts.


    • Romantic Dominant

      May 4, 2013 at 4:21 pm

      I would not be averse to publishing – although I have reservations about the cliches of BDSM.


  19. andallthingsnicexxx

    May 3, 2013 at 10:21 am

    I like it SO much that you differentiated between misogynists and dominants. I would want my Dom to be infinitely respectful of my choice to serve only him.

    ps. Forgive me…
    I nominated you for some daft award. 🙂 Just wanted to personally acknowledge your beautiful writing in some way.


  20. bitesofshe

    May 3, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    How this whets the appetite to discuss in more detail, a whole month of discourse wouldn’t be enough. It is always encouraging to hear views in line with our own, especially from writers one admires.


  21. cristina13

    May 3, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Reblogged this on molilola8 and commented:
    i don’t understand what you talking about it but it is soks


  22. amelthalt

    May 5, 2013 at 7:47 am

    Yes! Well said!


  23. skseibel

    May 9, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Your use of language is so fine, your tenderness so forceful, your thoughts on desire so subtle and insightful – please continue writing. If not here, then I hope you find a more satisfying venue, and I will follow you there. You describe dominance as earned power, protection as well as discipline – I could not describe what I hungered for until I saw you write it down.


  24. theredvelvetchair

    June 25, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    It’s because of the aforementioned ‘mummy porn’ that sparks ideas of activities & behaviors, into the minds of those who don’t fully understand the basic premise of what it means to for one to give so completely to another. Your post is popular because it reaffirms to those who, whether they have given that gift to someone already or not, that there are dominants who are worth submitting to.



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