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No more distant

29 Jan

fabian-perez-proposal

Beauty and I did not meet for lunch today.

She had her reasons,  I understand them.  They had nothing at all to do with me. In her elegant shoes, in her difficult circumstances, I would have postponed it too.

I would feel more disappointment if I had really been expecting to see her.  If I really believed that today I would gently take her sweet hand in mine in a warm, almost shy greeting. Possibly brush the skin of her perfect, precious face with my lips in that same untidy welcome. Maybe even hold her close for a brief, tender, breathless, self-conscious moment.

To embrace for as long as friendship would decently allow.

But these faded days I seldom allow my hopes to rise higher than the cold winter sun on the distant horizon.  I have had more than my share of recent star-crossed quests.  I am weary, jaded, and just a little cynical of feminine promise.

When next I see Beauty, if indeed I ever do, she will be married.

It will not make her any more or less distant than she is now.

.

.

© the author writing as Romantic Dominant

Art by Fabian Perez

 
31 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2013 in Still Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

31 responses to “No more distant

  1. Evelyn

    January 29, 2013 at 11:00 pm

    Sigh. Yes, I recognize you, how you have crossed a line after Jenny. And now it seems you are more “there” than initially.
    But please don’t lose hope. My heart is aching for you…

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      January 29, 2013 at 11:02 pm

      Smiles. Sweet Evelyn, I never lose hope.
      And I know you hate the idea, but Jenny truly means little to me now. Except wonderful, honest memories.

      Like

       
      • Evelyn

        January 29, 2013 at 11:28 pm

        I just can’t imagine the impermannce of things.
        But don’t worry, I’ll learn the hard way.

        Like

         
        • Romantic Dominant

          January 29, 2013 at 11:40 pm

          As Joni sang:
          Everything comes and goes
          Marked by lovers
          And styles of clothes

          You have a good heart.

          Like

           
  2. thesacredroad

    January 29, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    painful disappointment and because there is nothing more from which to find disappointment. exquisite. x

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      January 29, 2013 at 11:04 pm

      Perhaps there are no real disappointments left.
      Thank you

      Like

       
      • thesacredroad

        January 29, 2013 at 11:07 pm

        there always are if we dare to dream or hope. it is impossible to have the heart you do and not hold out some glimmer that this time….it will be different. even if we talk ourselves out of it.
        the universe provides when we are open and willing to accept what she has to offer. xo

        Like

         
  3. sharronkelley

    January 30, 2013 at 12:02 am

    Cynicism is a cold bedfellow. I refuse to sleep with him/her anymore. I hope you will be able to avoid her as well.

    Like

     
  4. mlbk7

    January 30, 2013 at 12:57 am

    As bittersweet as it may seem, i have to give her credit for making the decision not to meet you today. You battled this well and I would have hate to have see the brave one wounded.

    Like

     
  5. mybhumi

    January 30, 2013 at 1:27 am

    nice story, beauties have come and gone, beauties will come and go 🙂 you will forget them, and then remember them from time to time with a smile.

    Like

     
  6. Little K.

    January 30, 2013 at 4:35 am

    This is lovely in it’s moment of sweet sadness. Though, I always see the slivering line in each word.
    A well day Sir, I wish You.

    Like

     
  7. loneyheart

    January 30, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    your writings of late continue to bring a tear to my eye and a sadness to my heart. There is nothing so lonely as one who chooses a marriage without passion over living a life full of it.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      January 30, 2013 at 3:33 pm

      Perhaps. My marriage is undeniably without passion.

      And yet it is full of love and friendship

      There are many who have far less

      Smiles

      Like

       
      • loneyheart

        January 30, 2013 at 3:43 pm

        i live in the same world. A marriage full of friendship and mutual respect. I know he loves me. But the complete lack of physical has made it hard for me to stay in love with him. I know the sadness i speak of first hand. And the desire does not leave or lessen. In fact i think it grows day by day until it is all consuming.

        Like

         
        • Romantic Dominant

          January 30, 2013 at 7:54 pm

          I can understand it – and I empathise. Yet I still love my wife.

          I have had other relationships and replaced the missing physical elements in my marriage (and sometimes fallen in love) and may do so again. The blog represents snapshots of my life, not the whole, which is companionable and happy.

          I have even enjoyed distance D/s relationships – it is a Dom thing!

          Like

           
  8. janetebarbosa

    January 31, 2013 at 11:07 am

    I love the bitter sweet meloncholy of this piece. It’s beautiful. and on the art front, I adore Fabian Perez and Jack Vettriano…you have good taste 😉

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      January 31, 2013 at 10:50 pm

      Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed. Interestingly I was introduced to the work of both artists by women.

      Like

       
  9. butterflyx3

    January 31, 2013 at 10:24 pm

    Even if she starts to fade away from you, you always have the memories… she has taught you things about yourself. Keep that. Love works in mysterious ways sometimes, but there is always a reason.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      January 31, 2013 at 10:52 pm

      Thank you for your words. She will fade from me – our circumstances make it inevitable. And yet I am not sad. She gave me a beauty that most never know.

      Like

       
  10. Bigsis

    February 2, 2013 at 7:48 am

    Oh, you! She probably fancied you to death, who wouldn’t. Some women really can’t be coaxed into a casual relationship, and its nothing to do with you. Fear of abandonment, the need to be someone’s number one, can be irrevocable in some people. I’ll bet she thinks you’re awesome.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      February 2, 2013 at 8:38 am

      She does value me. Just not in the way I would like her to.
      Smiles

      Like

       

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