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This fading

27 Nov

He hates this fading.

She wore a short suede skirt from which her legs unwound, impossibly long, clad in black tights for the amazing journey between the high riding hem and chestnut leather boots.  The heels were flat but she still walked with an easy grace as she crossed the space that separated them. She held out her hand and he took it.  It was soft and tiny – as delicate as a small bird.  He felt he could have crushed it with his long fingers.

He was in a suit. Dark, respectable, expensive.  His cuff links, navy blue circles inset into polished steel, matched the highlights in his silk tie.

He took in the rest of her clothes in an instant.  Young, informal, relaxed.  He felt over-dressed and out-of-time.

They met for an hour. It was business, but he made her laugh often.  When she did she shook her head and her thick blonde hair danced about her face, and her eyes shone. The conversation constantly wandered off topic,  She leant forward, played with that shining curtain of hair and touched her elegant throat.

He should have offered her lunch. It was that time of day and she had somehow indicated freedom and hunger without actually saying it. In the polished wood reception area her hand returned to his and stayed for a moment longer than it should.  Her eyes bore into his with a frankness that made him look away.

He hesitated for a moment.

He was unusually uncertain.

He was old enough to be her father…

She must have sensed his confusion, or had come to the same sudden conclusion. She retreated inside herself.  It was like the sun lost behind a dark cloud.

Back on the street he caught sight of himself in a rain streaked window. Tall, slender and smart, but middle-aged, lined, and silver-haired. He sighed at how he foolish he had been to think her genuine warmth towards him had been something more

He hates this fading.

.

.

Photo stolen from InSUNNYty

 
69 Comments

Posted by on November 27, 2012 in Still Life

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

69 responses to “This fading

  1. Evelyn

    November 27, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    I’m crying.
    This is wretched and unfair.
    It makes me ache with regret.

    Like

     
  2. Joseph McNamara

    November 27, 2012 at 11:08 pm

    Such a poignant look at life and human mortality…. and the fact is, we will all join this story in due time….

    Like

     
  3. bcrcrider

    November 27, 2012 at 11:12 pm

    Freedom and hunger, hm? Are we still talking about lunch?

    Like

     
  4. Bad Penny

    November 27, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    Fade into me…

    P.S. He assumed a lot by her sudden conclusion, maybe she thought he caught her looking and was embarrassed, or that he was appalled she dared touch him without permission? I know I’ve faded into a wallflower from a look that was misinterpreted. -winks-

    Like

     
  5. copiousveracity

    November 27, 2012 at 11:50 pm

    Beautiful…

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:21 pm

      Smiles

      Like

       
      • copiousveracity

        November 28, 2012 at 11:07 pm

        I have a lot of interest in your words. Which is very, very new to me. Most of the people I find myself communicating with can hardly speak the language let alone use it as an art form. Could I chat with you? For the longest time I had nothing to write about.. And then I read your blog all the way down to… May I think.. And now I can’t go 10 minutes without jotting an idea…or five…down. It’s intoxicating to say the least.

        Like

         
        • Romantic Dominant

          November 29, 2012 at 5:41 pm

          Thank you for the compliment. It is always a joy to inspire.
          Define ‘chat’
          Smiles

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          • copiousveracity

            November 29, 2012 at 8:27 pm

            Talk? Conversate? Preferably not over this comment box. I could e mail you? I thought about just doing it anyway but it’s polite to ask first yes? I realize this might be a little weird… Or maybe this happens to you all the time, who knows. Either way, I’m harmless and just want to learn.

            Like

             
  6. aisha

    November 27, 2012 at 11:56 pm

    I know the feeling – but, for what it’s worth, as we fade in some ways, we can blossom in others.

    aisha

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  7. thesacredroad

    November 28, 2012 at 12:10 am

    vibrancy extends beyond the veil of age. warmth, passion, and vitality are exuded when one is certain of self and core needs. we all fade to some degree because an ember is much stronger than a flame…..the only extinguisher being our own perception of need, worth. the heart is a beautiful manipulator for through it we see who a person really is and whether their soul resonates with our own.
    fading embers…maybe, but just the right encounter will reignite the flame. x

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:24 pm

      The flame still burns bright. It is the fuel that is in shorter supply.
      Thank you for your lovely comment

      Like

       
      • thesacredroad

        November 29, 2012 at 2:10 am

        it is I who thank you for Shari g your soul with such powerfully emotive words that resonate much stronger than you realize. X

        Like

         
  8. surrenderedone

    November 28, 2012 at 12:19 am

    We women fade too…..but in some ways I feel like aisha, that I have blossomed in ways the eclipse the fading. We women can also be tentative….she may have read his hesitancy as disinterest. I always wonder about the “what ifs’ of moments like these.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:25 pm

      Ah, indeed. Life is full of ‘what ifs?’. And moments not quite grasped.

      Like

       
  9. Heartafire

    November 28, 2012 at 2:46 am

    Beautifully poignant…Lovely.

    Like

     
  10. loneyheart

    November 28, 2012 at 3:06 am

    You call it fading. I call it the perfection of man. When age and wisdom meet real sexy.

    Like

     
  11. Maggie Carpenter

    November 28, 2012 at 5:28 am

    It was not his physical self from which she retreated, rather his self vexation, his hesitancy. Doubt creates doubt.

    If he sees himself fading, he fades.

    If he sees himself self assured, blessed with a skilled prowess only achieved with age and experience, she will melt as she always has, at the mere suggestion of being under his spell.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:28 pm

      Thankfully the moments in which I hesitate – while greater in number these days – are still outweighed by those of inner certainty.

      Like

       
  12. Shoujiki Jester

    November 28, 2012 at 5:56 am

    There is much to be said for the light of the dark..

    Like

     
  13. ktz2

    November 28, 2012 at 6:25 am

    It’s inevitable for us all, but still I am constantly startled by the mirror — who is THAT– when did THIS happen ? . . . the betrayal of my {inaccurate} mental image of myself.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:31 pm

      Yes. I see an older man than I expect. And yet he is wiser. And a master of his art (which may not be writing).

      Like

       
  14. The Daydreamer

    November 28, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Caught in a hard situation. hmmmn.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:32 pm

      It passed. And only left behind the merest taste of regret. And the faint hint of her perfume.

      Like

       
  15. namelessneed

    November 28, 2012 at 2:59 pm

    A marvel/ how you hit secret targets, how you don’t just suggest & hint at private truths
    but look right into the sun of them and tell the achy truth/ regrets, I’ve had a few
    love this too much/ keep on

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 28, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      Thank you. I write only of how I feel. Or of how I think ‘she’ feels. I am often wrong on both counts.

      Like

       
  16. lostgenny

    November 28, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    ~sigh~ So beautiful and yet so sad.

    Like

     
  17. redheadedsub

    November 28, 2012 at 6:05 pm

    I am a girl who happens to love “middle-aged, lined and silver-haired.” Beautifully written, Sir.

    ~red

    Like

     
  18. equestrienne4life

    November 29, 2012 at 4:22 am

    Never lose hope… I’ve been entranced by the older man since my first stirrings of arousal as a young woman and it has never waned.

    Like

     
  19. emmylgant

    November 29, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    I can sooo relate! smile.

    Like

     
  20. mlbk7

    November 29, 2012 at 6:24 pm

    She wasn’t the one you really wanted that’s all. She felt what you already knew. M.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 29, 2012 at 6:32 pm

      That maybe also true. So much is not said in words.
      Hope you are well.

      Like

       
  21. MysticalKitty

    November 30, 2012 at 8:08 am

    It is amazing how quickly we slide off the mind’s powerful carousel and let ourselves fade away blaming on biological numbers or social criteria…
    The flame is ablaze as long as you hold on your mind…

    Like

     
  22. Heartafire

    November 30, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    Just needed to add, we are only as old as we feel, cliche of course, but oh so true. I think Mystical Kitty has summed it up quite well. I never intend to grow old…not in spirit…join me.

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      November 30, 2012 at 11:18 pm

      In spirit I have not grown old. Not at all. And physically I am still in good condition. But like a much loved and well strummed guitar, I am showing the scratches and creases of age.
      Joining you would not be difficult. Smiles.

      Like

       
  23. suzywordmuser

    December 2, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    This story is sad, but I think you’ve described so very beautifully the way looks seem to dominate so much in this world. And that is the sadness, because the man or woman inside is still the essentially the same person – until a reflection in glass tells them otherwise.

    I have a friend who is married to a man 52 years older than her. Everyone around her was a bit shocked – he wasn’t! They’ve been together nearly 20 years, and he is 93 now!

    I will definitely be back to read some more of your wonderful writing. And I’m loving the art too!!
    Suzy 🙂

    Like

     
    • Romantic Dominant

      December 3, 2012 at 10:27 am

      I am glad that you enjoyed it – and am heartened by your story. Although 93 is a long, long way away for me.
      Thank you for visiting and reading.

      Like

       
  24. H. Stos.

    December 23, 2012 at 1:22 am

    That poor man, failing to understand that there’s always hope. I truly hope this did not happen to you. 🙂

    Like

     
  25. annamieuk

    November 17, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    I was feeling the same way. Then I read Loneyheart’s comment that “age and wisdom meet real sexy”, and felt even worse! That may be true for men, but older women tend to be viewed in a different light. I wouldn’t expect a 45 year old man to want to have a relationship with someone old enough to be his mother! But then Mystic Kitty and Heartafire made it much better when they said it doesn’t matter how old you are, as long as that fire burns bright in your mind. My spirit is alive and kicking and still thinks it is 20 years younger. Long may that continue. 😉

    Like

     
  26. April

    February 3, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    I hate this fading as well. It seems no matter what others tell you, the feeling of fading outweighs the kind words. But then it seems I have been fighting the feeling of fading since I can remember, sometimes I win…sometimes it wins.

    Like

     

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