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Friendship

25 Jun

I do not want her to go.  I will miss her.

I have never felt like this towards a woman who is not a lover before.

For she is not mine.  She will never be mine again.  Not for one borrowed, quiet, holy, sensual afternoon.  Not for one stolen, sultry, breathless, decadent, velvet night. Not even for a long, heart-stopping, eloquent kiss.

If I hold her gently in an embrace it will be chaste and clothed, even with her beautiful, sweet head resting upon my chest.

Yet I have offered to her my total, unconditional, non-judgemental, non-physical friendship.  A rare gift that I barely recognise let alone know how to bestow.. I usually fear the burden of dependence, the demands of alliance, the pressure of association, the discomfort of company, the weight of expectation of any friend.   I am a solitary, self-contained creature, whose brave society skills hide a fierce isolated independence of spirit. I avoid duty and obligation.

But I want her to feel close.  I want her to feel utterly at ease in my company. Not to fear me in any way. To trust me without question. To know that she is protected, safe, guarded, sheltered.  To sense the cloak of my protection around her. To understand and be glad, and perhaps proud, that I am her guardian, her sometime companion, her occasional partner in small crimes, her now-and-again shoulder to lean upon, her meillieur ami, her confidant, her amigo, her chum.

Her shirt-front to soak with tears. Someone with whom she can always laugh at the world.

I do not want her to go.

Yet however far away she is, however remote, however distant – even if we never meet again – I hope she will believe in the forever certainty of my genuine friendship and deep affection. .

.

 
25 Comments

Posted by on June 25, 2012 in Lovers Past

 

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25 responses to “Friendship

  1. eroticexploration

    June 25, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    What a rare and lovely thing, such a friendship.

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  2. mlbk7

    June 25, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    Could it be a platonic love…a permanent aspiration of desire with a sense it is attained by the intellectual purification from carnal into ideal form? Even if we “desire to possess”, it becomes but a purely sensual love, in being a love that tends towards the sublime.
    The gods did not love, because they do not experience desires, inasmuch as their desires, they were all satisfied. To loved and to be admired is the purest form they did not have a direct relationship with man and their love was considered divine. To love platonically is purest form and signifies the desire to possess it forever is wonderful. Therefore with this love you speak of…she desires. It is an intellectual love, a desire for immortality, an appreciation of beauty, the ideal sense, the understanding of truth and above all; the type of love that never ends.

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  3. mlbk7

    June 25, 2012 at 10:07 pm

    Thank you Sir. His words spoke to her and her heart replied.

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  4. Isabella

    June 26, 2012 at 3:14 am

    I am a solitary, self-contained creature, whose brave society skills hide a fierce isolated independence of spirit”…such an intriguing description. This evokes so much warmth. The “I do not want her to go” not once but twice compels me to ask …then… why are you letting her? Curiosity may very well be my downfall : /

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    • Romantic Dominant

      June 26, 2012 at 6:35 am

      Like all things, it is complicated. Our lives have temporarily overlapped but are quite separate. She has another path which she has the chance to follow. I have no sway over her decision

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      • mlbk7

        June 26, 2012 at 3:32 pm

        My Dear Sir,
        she has many paths. Chosen by many and taken by none.
        New in the life, training with D/. He too…is far away. So her heart does not know the meaning distance …only desire. xo~me.

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  5. Elizabeth

    June 26, 2012 at 3:27 am

    This is lovely, the words and the sentiment they convey.

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  6. damls

    June 26, 2012 at 4:20 am

    Beautiful writing… Platonic love hmmm interesting 🙂

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  7. Evelyn

    June 30, 2012 at 1:17 am

    I have hesitated to comment on this altho I have read this in my email everyday since you posted it.
    I dont know what…thats why I have hesitated. I love this.

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  8. Janette Monea Ayub

    June 30, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    friendship. a word that some take for granted, can be the easiest or the hardest.
    loved it, as usual.

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  9. lesliemeeks

    June 29, 2014 at 12:34 am

    Even if she was going down a different path, why couldn’t yall still have been friends? It sounds like she was the friend of a lifetime. She was lucky to have you as a confidant. Maybe yall’s paths will cross again soon. She sounds amazing. Smiles..

    Beautifully written as always.

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    • Romantic Dominant

      June 29, 2014 at 11:31 am

      This was exactly two years ago. A lot can happen. She is married now, and has a child. We are perhaps in contact by mail every four or five months – a couple of polite, friendly lines. Re-reading this post I cannot believe I felt so strongly about her. It is strange looking back.

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