Monthly Archives: June 2012


She is the last woman I held naked in my arms.

I do not want for another.

The ropes. The blindfold. The cuffs of rare craftsmanship and rich black leather.  The antique riding crop.  The multi-tailed flogger. The steel pin-wheel, The clamps. The toys of deep pleasure. The tools of sweet pain.

All lie unused, safely hidden away in their case.

Past lovers are completely forgotten.  They are but shadows inhabiting the past.  No one else arouses me, excites me, thrills me.

I have no hunger, no desire, no need.

No appetite, no yearning, no ache.

No thirst, no urge, no lust.

I am pure.  I am celibate.  I am cold.

Yet the moment I think of her, my body responds.

She makes me hard.


Posted by on June 29, 2012 in D/s, Erotica


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Music for Stripping

There is something extraordinarily erotic about having a lover dance for you.

The intimacy, the sensuality, the beauty of her body moving to the rhythm of both the music and your desire is wonderful. As she undresses, her eyes locked on yours, you can almost taste your mutual arousal in the air.

It is a gift bestowed to few men, yet is a gorgeous and wonderful act of love whether in a D/s or vanilla relationship.

In recent years there are three songs that I have found to be perfect.

Hips Don’t Lie – Shakira
A joyful, rhythmic anthem to both dancing and hips.  Difficult to emulate Shakira’s undulating body perhaps, but hard for even the shyest woman not to surrender to the beat and that triumphant brass.

Buttons – Pussy Cat Dolls
They are not a group that I admire, but this song simply oozes sex.  I am certain it was composed for stripping. From the opening bar it says ‘I am taking off my clothes…’

Feeling Good – Muse
This song was I think written in the sixties for a musical and has been performed by many artists. (The Muse video is NOT sexy).  Perhaps not as easy to dance to as the other two, but it is smouldering and sultry and to me has such a dirty, decadent, delicious sound. One particular performance by one lover to this song left me breathless, speechless and hungry….


This has been a rare Public Service post….





Posted by on June 29, 2012 in D/s, Lovers Past, Music


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Without definition

He cannot define their relationship.

They steal time from the day and escape the noisy traffic. They eat in a cool and quiet Carluccios’s in a town close to the sea. Outside the rare sun shines hot and unexpected on a rain-weary England.  They each indulge in a large glass of red wine at his bidding, and order calamares, then (she) steak and (he) risotto.

The food is perfect yet at times they almost forget to eat.  The hours seem much shorter when they are together.

He loses himself in her beauty and her charm.  She bathes in his words.

They hug with warmth and affection, and just a touch of longing. The awkwardness they once felt in an embrace is gone.  They briefly hold hands in the car on the way back.  Her slender fingers are as elegant as the rest of her.

They are friends, but they know that it is somehow more than that. They care for each other and share with one another like friends, but they give their attention like lovers.

Yet they are not lovers. The one and only time they were is still a constant source of amazement and surprise to them both. It will almost certainly never happen again.  They both love elsewhere.

They are a secret. Delicious, joyful, shared and private.  No one knows they are close.

He cannot define this relationship.

He only knows that he is blissfully happy that she is in his life whenever she can be.  He wants no more from her than she wishes to give – emotionally or physically.  He is at peace.

Even his eternal desire for her does not ruffle his contentment.


Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Lovers Past


Tags: , , , , , ,

Secret Smile

She passed by.

A vision of exquisitely subtle curves and gorgeously shaped legs in a simple black dress that her body had transformed into classic Dior.  Her dark hair hung divinely onto her shoulders. contrasting magically with the pale skin of her elegant throat.

Her beauty and her movement took his breath away.

As he watched her, enthralled and captivated, her bewitching brown eyes met his own.  And she smiled.

It was a smile meant only for him.  It was warm, genuine, charming.  It was full of complicity, of co-conspiracy, of confederacy.  It was gentle with kindness, soft with amity, open with friendship.

It was stunning.

It was her secret smile.


“Secret Smile” by Semisonic

Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I’m losing, I’m bluesing
But you can save me from madness

Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you’ve got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So save me I’m waiting
I’m needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I’m grieving, I’m barely believing now, now

When you are flying around and around the world
And I’m lying and lonely
I know there’s something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only



Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Music


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


Well my friends are gone and my hair is gray
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I’m crazy for love but I’m not coming on

From ‘The Tower of Song’ by Leonard Cohen

I don’t do Facebook but this is my status.

Oh, and for the uninitiated, the photo is of Leonard, not me


Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Music, Quotes, Still Life


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Somehow special

‘If you are staying then I am staying.’

He knows it is as much about his patronage as it is about him, but the words send a bolt of pure joy through him.  He wants to hold her, just for a moment, because he is relieved, because it feels right, because of the endless coincidences, because she is his friend.

And because she is achingly beautiful.

‘If you are staying then I am staying,’

They both say it again, an hour after the first time.

Of course this is not love. Far from it.

But it is somehow just a little special.


Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Lovers Past


Tags: , , , , , , ,


I do not want her to go.  I will miss her.

I have never felt like this towards a woman who is not a lover before.

For she is not mine.  She will never be mine again.  Not for one borrowed, quiet, holy, sensual afternoon.  Not for one stolen, sultry, breathless, decadent, velvet night. Not even for a long, heart-stopping, eloquent kiss.

If I hold her gently in an embrace it will be chaste and clothed, even with her beautiful, sweet head resting upon my chest.

Yet I have offered to her my total, unconditional, non-judgemental, non-physical friendship.  A rare gift that I barely recognise let alone know how to bestow.. I usually fear the burden of dependence, the demands of alliance, the pressure of association, the discomfort of company, the weight of expectation of any friend.   I am a solitary, self-contained creature, whose brave society skills hide a fierce isolated independence of spirit. I avoid duty and obligation.

But I want her to feel close.  I want her to feel utterly at ease in my company. Not to fear me in any way. To trust me without question. To know that she is protected, safe, guarded, sheltered.  To sense the cloak of my protection around her. To understand and be glad, and perhaps proud, that I am her guardian, her sometime companion, her occasional partner in small crimes, her now-and-again shoulder to lean upon, her meillieur ami, her confidant, her amigo, her chum.

Her shirt-front to soak with tears. Someone with whom she can always laugh at the world.

I do not want her to go.

Yet however far away she is, however remote, however distant – even if we never meet again – I hope she will believe in the forever certainty of my genuine friendship and deep affection. .



Posted by on June 25, 2012 in Lovers Past


Tags: , , , , , ,